Ivici Vidoviću
(Servantesu, Inspektoru Vinku, Primarijusu Guzini...)
uz odlazak
Probudio sam se i gledam kroz prozor
gore, neko nebo sivo
mutno neko nebo, moj Ivice
a i dolje,
isto nešto neodređeno
- maglovito i tmurno
ko za inat, nevidljiva neka ruka
kao da je nategnula zastor
preko cijelog neba
i ne vidi se što je tamo iza
ako uopće ima nešto tamo
ili je i tamo sve isto
kao i ovdje
danas
a i ljudi
dolaze i odlaze
ti čudni mali oblaci
što plove kroz ulice
podno neba siva
i kroz naše glave
na ovoj točci mutnoj
što se njiše
kao brod u luci
gledam, moj Ivice
jedni hodaju goropadno
čvrsto
kao da je cijelo nebo njihovo
a zapravo i ne vide koliko su mali
- tu, s mog prozora
drugi se pak vuku
sporo, nezainteresirano
kao da je cijela vječnost
pred njima
- ne vide oni da bi mogla kiša
i oluja, i vjetar neki
da bi mogao
uskoro
odnijeti sve
idu oni
polako, otegnuto, nehajno
kao da ih i nije briga
treći opet jure
kao muhe bez glave
- samo projure
i nestanu
ima ih i koji hodaju
kao po jajima
za svakim uglom nagnu glavu
znatiželjno, ali puni opreza
kao da ih više zanima tuđi
no vlastiti život
iako se iz svake njihove geste vidi
da je sasvim obratno
a nebo plače, moj Ivice
nad mojim prozorom, nad Komižom
ovog jutra više no inače
i meni se srce steže, kao obruč
baš kao i nebo ovo koje kao da će pući
- a neće! ono nikad ne pukne
i film se vrti u mojoj glavi
- ne jedan, nego mnogo njih! -
i onaj od jučer, i onaj od prekjučer
i onaj kad smo bili sasvim mali
naviru ljudi i teku dalje
i oni periferni, i oni glavni
i razmišljam, zapravo
kako je malo toga
što ostaje
tek poneko nasmijano lice
eno dolje, jedan je galeb
ribaru iz ruke odnio ribu
a ovaj mu psuje i ćaću i mater
- kao da galebovi imaju majku i oca?!
i ljudi se smiju kako je ptica
mudrija no čovjek
- a čovjek samo što ne zaplače
kakvo li je ovo vrijeme došlo
kad se drugi smiju meni se plače
drugi, kad neke čudne suze liju
meni se smije
smije mi se, Ivice
smije mi se
i od neba
i od ljudi
i od tuge
jerbo ima takvih ljudi
kad ih vidiš
samo ti se plače
i tek malo onih
kojih se vrijedno prisjetiti
- od kojih je srce puno
koji dođu sami
navru
i kad je nebo
sasvim tmurno
od kojih ti se
uvijek
samo smije
Komiža, 22. 04. 2011.
Vinko Kalinić
The heavens cry today, my Ivica
To Ivica Vidović
I woke up and am looking through the window
up, some gray sky some dimly sky, my Ivica
and down too, something same indefinite
- foggy and gloomy
like in spite, some invisible hand
like it has drawn the curtain across the whole sky
and you can’t see what’s there behind
if there is anything at all
or maybe there is also all the same
like in here today
and people do, too
come and go
these strange little clouds
that fly through the streets
beneath the gray sky
through our heads too
on this dimly spot
that swings
like a boat in the harbour
I’m watching, my Ivica
some walk shrewish
steadily
like the whole sky belongs to them
but actually they don’t see how small they are
- here, from my window
others again draggle
slow, disinterestedly
like there’s the whole eternity
in front of them
- they don’t see that it could rain
and the storm, and some wind
could start
soon
to take everything away
they walk
slowly, protracted, inadvertently
like they don’t care
third ones again rush
like the headless flies
- they just rush through
and disappear
there are the ones who walk
like on eggshells
at every corner they tilt the head curiously, but full of caution
like they’re more interested in others
than in their own life although from their every gesture is seen
that it’s totally opposite
and the heavens cry, my Ivica
over my window, over Komiža
this morning more than usually
the hoop tightens around my heart
just like this sky that looks like it will burst
- but it wouldn’t! It never does
the film flashes in my head
- not one, but many of them! -
the one from yesterday, and the one from the day before
and the one when we were quite tiny
people are flooding and flow away
those peripheral, and those primary ones
and I think, actually
how there’s not much
of that what remains
just some smiley face
look down there, one seagull grabbed a fish from the fisherman’s hand
and this one curses his father and mother
- like seagulls even have mothers and fathers?!
and people laugh how the bird
is wiser than a man
- and the man is just about to cry
what sort of time has just arrived
when others laugh I’d like to cry
others, when they cry some strange tears
I’d like to laugh
I’d like to laugh, Ivica
I’d like to laugh
from the sky
from the people
from sadness
because there are those people
that when you see them
you just want to cry
and not many of those
who deserve to be remembered
- who fulfil the heart
who come alone
turn up
even when the sky is
completely gloomy
from whom you
always
just need to smile
Komiža, April 22nd 2011
Vinko Kalinić
(Translated by
Darko Kotevski)
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