Danas nebo plače, moj Ivice


Ivici Vidoviću
(Servantesu, Inspektoru Vinku, Primarijusu Guzini...)
uz odlazak



Probudio sam se i gledam kroz prozor
gore, neko nebo sivo
mutno neko nebo, moj Ivice

a i dolje,
isto nešto neodređeno
- maglovito i tmurno

ko za inat, nevidljiva neka ruka
kao da je nategnula zastor
preko cijelog neba
i ne vidi se što je tamo iza
ako uopće ima nešto tamo
ili je i tamo sve isto
kao i ovdje
danas

a i ljudi

dolaze i odlaze

ti čudni mali oblaci
što plove kroz ulice
podno neba siva

i kroz naše glave

na ovoj točci mutnoj
što se njiše
kao brod u luci

gledam, moj Ivice

jedni hodaju goropadno
čvrsto
kao da je cijelo nebo njihovo
a zapravo i ne vide koliko su mali
- tu, s mog prozora

drugi se pak vuku
sporo, nezainteresirano
kao da je cijela vječnost
pred njima
- ne vide oni da bi mogla kiša
i oluja, i vjetar neki
da bi mogao

uskoro
odnijeti sve

idu oni
polako, otegnuto, nehajno
kao da ih i nije briga

treći opet jure
kao muhe bez glave
- samo projure
i nestanu

ima ih i koji hodaju
kao po jajima
za svakim uglom nagnu glavu
znatiželjno, ali puni opreza
kao da ih više zanima tuđi
no vlastiti život
iako se iz svake njihove geste vidi
da je sasvim obratno

a nebo plače, moj Ivice
nad mojim prozorom, nad Komižom

ovog jutra više no inače

i meni se srce steže, kao obruč
baš kao i nebo ovo koje kao da će pući
- a neće! ono nikad ne pukne

i film se vrti u mojoj glavi
- ne jedan, nego mnogo njih! -
i onaj od jučer, i onaj od prekjučer
i onaj kad smo bili sasvim mali

naviru ljudi i teku dalje
i oni periferni, i oni glavni
i razmišljam, zapravo
kako je malo toga
što ostaje

tek poneko nasmijano lice

eno dolje, jedan je galeb
ribaru iz ruke odnio ribu
a ovaj mu psuje i ćaću i mater
- kao da galebovi imaju majku i oca?!
i ljudi se smiju kako je ptica
mudrija no čovjek
- a čovjek samo što ne zaplače

kakvo li je ovo vrijeme došlo
kad se drugi smiju meni se plače
drugi, kad neke čudne suze liju
meni se smije

smije mi se, Ivice

smije mi se
i od neba
i od ljudi
i od tuge

jerbo ima takvih ljudi
kad ih vidiš
samo ti se plače

i tek malo onih
kojih se vrijedno prisjetiti
- od kojih je srce puno

koji dođu sami

navru
i kad je nebo
sasvim tmurno

od kojih ti se
uvijek
samo smije



Komiža, 22. 04. 2011.

Vinko Kalinić





The heavens cry today, my Ivica




To Ivica Vidović



I woke up and am looking through the window
up, some gray sky some dimly sky, my Ivica

and down too, something same indefinite
- foggy and gloomy

like in spite, some invisible hand
like it has drawn the curtain across the whole sky
and you can’t see what’s there behind
if there is anything at all
or maybe there is also all the same
like in here today

and people do, too

come and go

these strange little clouds
that fly through the streets
beneath the gray sky

through our heads too

on this dimly spot
that swings
like a boat in the harbour

I’m watching, my Ivica

some walk shrewish
steadily
like the whole sky belongs to them
but actually they don’t see how small they are
- here, from my window

others again draggle
slow, disinterestedly
like there’s the whole eternity
in front of them
- they don’t see that it could rain
and the storm, and some wind
could start

soon
to take everything away

they walk
slowly, protracted, inadvertently
like they don’t care

third ones again rush
like the headless flies
- they just rush through
and disappear

there are the ones who walk
like on eggshells
at every corner they tilt the head curiously, but full of caution
like they’re more interested in others
than in their own life although from their every gesture is seen
that it’s totally opposite

and the heavens cry, my Ivica
over my window, over Komiža

this morning more than usually

the hoop tightens around my heart
just like this sky that looks like it will burst
- but it wouldn’t! It never does

the film flashes in my head
- not one, but many of them! -
the one from yesterday, and the one from the day before
and the one when we were quite tiny

people are flooding and flow away
those peripheral, and those primary ones
and I think, actually
how there’s not much
of that what remains

just some smiley face

look down there, one seagull grabbed a fish from the fisherman’s hand
and this one curses his father and mother
- like seagulls even have mothers and fathers?!
and people laugh how the bird
is wiser than a man
- and the man is just about to cry

what sort of time has just arrived
when others laugh I’d like to cry
others, when they cry some strange tears
I’d like to laugh

I’d like to laugh, Ivica

I’d like to laugh
from the sky
from the people
from sadness

because there are those people
that when you see them
you just want to cry

and not many of those
who deserve to be remembered
- who fulfil the heart

who come alone

turn up
even when the sky is
completely gloomy

from whom you
always
just need to smile


Komiža, April 22nd 2011



Vinko Kalinić

(Translated by
Darko Kotevski
)