Ti živiš u mojoj glavi
i ja to znam
pamtim čak i trenutak
kad si prestala biti ženom
i postala mi sudbinom
nehajno, prošla si kroz moje jutro
lepršava, krhka, divlja i sretna,
s osmjehom zaraznim ko kuga
prošla si,
kao što vjetrovi dolaze
i prolaze,
pa opet se vraćaju
neznajući
ni kako se zovu
ni zašto se viju
ni kamo idu
a ja sam stajao
kao što i sada stojim
nijemo
i ukipljeno
gledajući te kako rasteš
i kako si sve veća:
veća od ulice kojom si hodala
veća od luke koja te zagrlila
veća od mora koje je šumom
vraćalo jeku tvoga božanstvenog glasa
veća od neba koje se čitavo klanjalo
i tebi
i tvojoj sjeni
- veća od svega
što je ikada bilo
i što će ikada biti
ti živiš u mojoj glavi
i ja to znam
pojaviš se kao sjena
lepršava, krhka, divlja i sretna,
kao što nikada nije, niti će ikada biti
ijedna druga žena
i rasteš
sve dok ne narasteš veća od svega
što je živo u mojoj glavi
i kad si tiha poput ljetnog maestrala
i kad si divlja, i hladna kao bura
i kad si luda, i toplija od juga
- uvijek je to ista ruža
ona, što prolazi kroz neko moje
davno odlepršalo jutro
s osmjehom zaraznim ko kuga
divlja i sretna, što ruke pruža
od ničeg da stvori neki oblik
od besmisla da načini neki smisao
a ja stojim - stojim isto onako
kao što sam stajao ukipljeno
onog davnog odlepršalog jutra
- jutra svečanijeg od svakog jutra! -
stojim i danas, kao što ću stajati
i kad prođe trista milijuna godina
ti živiš u mojoj glavi
i ja to znam
kao što znam
- ako me ikada itko bude tražio? -
pronaći će me jednoga jutra
u tisuću zrnaca okamenjene svijetlosti
u sjeni tvoje sjene, u užarenom pepelu
poput kakvog razmrvljenog
drevnog morskog boga,
poput pijeska
bit će me posvuda,
gdje onog jutra
gazila je tvoja noga
Vinko Kalinić
Sea God and the wind rose
You live inside my head
and I know that
I even remember the moment
when you stopped to be a woman
and became my destiny
carelessly you passed through my morning
flirty, fragile, wild and happy,
with a smile, contagious like a plague
you have passed through,
like winds which come
and pass by,
and come again
unknowingly
nor what their names are
neither why they blow
nor where they go
and me, I was standing
as I am standing now
soundless
and still
watching you growing
and how you became much bigger:
bigger than the street you were walking down
bigger than the harbour that embraced you
bigger than the sea which was returning
the echo of your divine voice
bigger than the sky which was bowing
to you
and to your shadow
-bigger than everything
that has ever been
and that will ever be
you live in my head
and I know that
you just appear like a shadow
flirty, fragile, wild and happy,
like has never been nor will ever be
any other woman
and you grow
until you grow up bigger than everything
what is live in my head
when you are quiet like the summer mistral
and when you’re wild and cold like a storm
and when you’re crazy and warmer than a scirocco
-it’s always the same rose
the one that passes through some of mine
ancient flowed mornings
with a smile, contagious like a plague
wild and happy, the one that offers hands
so it could create some form from nothing
to create some meaning from total senselessness
and I’m standing – standing the same way
I was standing still like a statue
that ancient flowed morning
-morning that was more solemnly than any other! –
I’m standing still today as I will be standing
even after three million years
you live in my head
and I know that
the same way I know
-if anyone will be ever searching for me?-
they will find me one morning
in the thousand particles of the petrified brightness
in the shadow of your shadow, in the red hot ashes
like some crumbled
ancestral sea God,
like the sand
I will be everywhere,
where, on that morning
your foot was stamping
November 16th 2010.
Vinko Kalinić
(Translated
by Darko Kotevski)
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